Rose's Recovery from Grief after 25 Years
Wow! What can I say?
Ornela is awesome... she’s fecking awesome!
I approached Ornela desperate for help with overwhelming grief, shame and guilt that I had been holding onto for 25 years surrounding my son's death. Every day was filled with one or sometimes all of the above emotions. They caused anxiety, depression, disordered eating (bulimia) and had even been in part responsible for the breakdown of my first marriage. Every aspect of my life was affected and what’s worse, I was allowing it to affect my relationships with my other children and spouse.
If I went a day without letting memories of my son be at the forefront of my mind, the tremendous guilt I felt was crippling. I knew I was stuck in the past and that no matter how much I wanted to I couldn’t turn the clock back and it almost felt that I was stuck on a hamster wheel going constantly round but getting nowhere. I just couldn’t let go.
After several years of being on antidepressants I did receive mainstream grief counselling but it didn’t help in the slightest, if anything it made me feel worse. So many more years of being on and off antidepressants/ anti-anxiety medication. I had even tried CBT and then for last 5 years because it had really affected the way I interacted with my youngest son (because all his milestones brought on overwhelming grief because I had never experienced his brother passing those milestones) had been receiving psychotherapy. Although I did make some progress with the psychotherapy, it just seemed to be like picking at a scab... the more I talked about it, the sorer it got. I just couldn’t let the tears flow and begin to let go and heal.
Right from the discovery call Ornela showed a deep understanding of my issues, and put me at ease. Throughout that initial call and the subsequent form she asked me to fill in she had the ability to extract information in a kind, caring and compassionate manner.
The actual session was done over Zoom so she explained exactly what the process would involve and again put me at total ease.
As for the session ... what can I say? Wow! Just wow!! During my session Ornela guided me back in the most amazing beautiful way to 3 scenes from my earlier life. There was only one that involved my son and even then only indirectly, which she had mentioned may happen during our discovery call, so again I was put at ease and didn’t start worrying about it. She had reassured me that my subconscious mind would guide me as to the root cause of my issue of not letting go. And whilst the scenes themselves were quite upsetting, Ornela continuously reassured me that I wasn’t reliving them only reviewing them. Two of the scenes I had no memory of - but to see them, answered so many questions for me and gave me the understanding why I had never allowed the tears to flow. Ornela encouraged me to let them out and I did, the whole time with Ornela’s wonderful encouraging reassuring voice telling me it was ok and I was safe and that they needed to be released because I needed to feel in order to heal.
The session just seemed to flow effortlessly... me as the orchestra and Ornela as the conductor... and the end result ? For the first time ever, thanks to Ornela’s expertise at piecing together all the information she had gathered from the scenes, gave me an understanding as to where my issue stemmed from. To realise that my actual grieving issues stemmed from way way back in my early childhood was mind blowing.
You hear all these things about certain therapies being brilliant, amazing etc, but I have to admit that RTT really is truly life changing. By the end of the session I felt lighter and at peace with myself for the first time, not in 25 years, but more like my life. I slept a beautiful restorative sleep and the next day the constant sick feeling that has been with me for as long as I can remember ( I had always been told it was stomach migraines and had no reason to doubt the diagnosis) had gone! Not just eased, but actually gone! To be able to look at food and not feel repulsed is such a strange feeling for me, but a very welcome added bonus.
I thought I was going to be given a way to deal with the grief, but I got so much more ... I got closure, answers and most importantly I feel like I am no longer living in shades of grey but in technicolour - RTT is life changing and Ornela is a phenomenal therapist and I cannot thank her enough... in fact I’d go as far as saying Ornela, you are fecking awesome 🤗.
Follow up after one month:
Well a month on from my original session and every day I just feel better and better - more alive than I can ever remember feeling. I am speechless as to just how many areas of my life has been transformed after just one session! I have religiously listened to my personalised recording for more than the recommended 21 days because it is just so lovely. I regularly fall asleep while listening to it, which I know is perfectly ok because my subconscious is still actively listening to the words.
The most profound after effect of my session with Ornela is that having lived with this constant feeling of overwhelming grief for 25 years - is that it is gone! On the rare occasion that I didn't think about my grief, I would feel guilty - that is well gone. I know that my son lives on within me and my other children and it now comforts me to know that there is a part of him in all of us.
It has changed so many other aspects of my life - I now believe I deserve to be happy; look forward to every new day; the eating issues I had are also gone; my self-confidence and self-worth have both improved so much that I feel like a new person! The twice weekly migraines that I suffered from since I was a teenager are now gone!
One of my initial fears before my session with Ornela was that I would feel empty; that there would be a void. That is just so not true. The wording of my personalised recording reassures me every time I listen to it that my son will always be part of me and part of my life. As for the void left from the grief - it has been transformed into this sensation of gratitude. Ornela - you are awesome! Thank you so so much for transforming my life. I will be forever in your debt.
Ornela is a legend! If you have any doubts as to whether RTT is going to help - then please just go for it! It really can and does transform lives.
Rose (51), Farmer, Scotland